YOUR BABY'S SLEEP IS NORMAL AND YOU'RE AN AMAZING PARENT
Image: Via Instagram/@whitneymcclellan
BY LAUREN HEFFERNAN
“Most baby sleep problems are not because babies sleep like babies but because we expect them to sleep like adults.” ”
I love Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s message to new mothers: “You are not alone. Nature has been doing this for eons and is only looking for a helping hand. We are worrying about way too much” (2013).
I have always dreamed of writing a baby sleep book, but I decided that instead of writing the typical “you are failing, there is a problem with what your baby is doing, you need to read more books” type of book, I would create the opposite. Because remember back in the day when we didn’t have experts and books, and our parents and their village absolutely knew what they were doing? Well, you do too!
I am dedicating my mini-ebook to all the mamas out there who feel like they are somehow failing their little ones because they aren’t sleeping the way that the books and experts are telling them they should be sleeping. I am dedicating this book to all the mamas who have been shamed into believing that the natural things they do, the instinctual things they do, such as nursing and snuggling to sleep, are somehow bad habits or negative sleep associations.
I am dedicating this book to all the mamas who are seeking support and therapy for the anxiety they now feel around this need to control their baby’s sleep and the failure they feel when they can’t.
This ebook is for every mama out there who just needs real facts about what is normal in the first year of having a baby.
If this ebook gets into the hands of anyone working with new mamas, then use it to help validate mothers.
Why is this so important? Dr. Neufeld explains this beautifully in his video Introduction to New Parents. We need to encourage parents and let them know that they know what they are doing, that they are their child’s best bet. When the parent finds their confidence in knowing that they are the answer to their child (not that they have to have all the answers), we engage the instincts needed to care for the child. When parents believe they are the answer to their child, it is true.
We need to matchmake with mothers, letting them know how lucky their child is to have them, and then they will absolutely become what their child needs. Telling parents that they are failing, that they are doing everything wrong, makes them feel like failures, and in turn, they fail. If they don’t believe they are the answer to their child’s needs, the instincts to care for the child will not be engaged.
Matchmaking a parent and child is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give to that child. “This confidence is the most important thing of all. We are eroding this confidence. We are bombarding mothers with information after information, with warnings after warnings, and in bombarding them, we are scaring the hell out of them and taking them out of the place that they need to be. They need to be in this alpha place…where you have this confidence and you know you are that baby’s best bet. It doesn’t matter what the challenges are, the mother has to believe this” (Neufeld 2013).
I am the founder of Isla-Grace, where I work as a Certified Baby-Led Sleep and Well-Being Specialist. I earned a Bachelor of Education at McMaster University and Queensland University of Technology. Four years of teaching junior kindergarten through grade four inspired a passion in me for education and play-based learning.
After giving birth to my first daughter, Grace, I learned the many challenges of navigating motherhood. These included the multitude of books, information, and people with strong opinions on the right way to be a mother. I quickly learned that the best parent to my child was me and that in trusting my instincts, I would never go wrong. With this belief, and after completing two sleep certifications, Mohawk College’s Breastfeeding Program, and two intensive courses on the attachment-based developmental approach through the Neufeld Institute, I launched IslaGrace.
Now I provide information and support to women at different stages of motherhood by walking them through each of their personal journeys to become more confident mothers. For over four years, I have helped more than 1,000 families to get sleep without using sleep training. Instead, I focus on the science behind infant sleep, attachment, and emotion. I also run a Facebook group with over 5,000 sleep-deprived mamas, and I read their posts daily.
All I want to say to each and every one of them is that your baby is normal, and you will get through this. This ebook is a compilation of the common sleep concerns that I hear in my Facebook group and how I wish that I could respond to all of them. It is my hope that you can get rid of all your baby sleep books, which are adding undue stress to your life and making you feel like a failure, and use this ebook as a daily guide and reminder that you are doing an amazing job!
As a final note, please remember to consult with your doctor or other healthcare professionals before following the advice offered in this book to be sure that it is the best course of action for you and your family.
Click here to download Lauren’s free ebook, and remember: Your baby's sleep is normal, and you're an amazing parent!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lauren Heffernan is the Founder of Isla-Grace. She’s a certified Holistic Maternity & Child Sleep Consultant and Certified Sleep Educator. She provides information and support to women at different stages of motherhood, and walks each one through the personal journey to become a more confident mother. For more information you can visit her website or follow her on Instagram @islagracesleep
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The views expressed by the authors/contributors on this website do not necessarily reflect the views of NotSoMumsy. The nature of NotSoMumsy is to provide a platform for mothers to share their own personal journeys and are intended for entertainment purposes only.